I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
