He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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