Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Randomize
