you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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