either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
