Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
