What a fucking waste of an outfit
someone owes me an orgasm
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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