C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
