from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
birth control should be required to get into college
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
