I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
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Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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