you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
