Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
