Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
