What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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