Kiss
Puke
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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