somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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