in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
