That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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