That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
