i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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