Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
