don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
