dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
