Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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