You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
