Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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