Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
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It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
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You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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