I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
