Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
