Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
