actually, I'm a sock model
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
