I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.