it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
