Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
