maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
