i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
