she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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