yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
