Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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