is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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