Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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