great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
But theres a keg here and me gusta
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
