i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize