he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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