it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
