god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize