Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
