I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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