he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My vagina just clenched in fear
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