I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
