p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
