just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
