Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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