Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
