i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
