when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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