4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
